Realistic friends making demonstration

Hi , im first year uni, introvert , muslim girl. I have all the qualities of not making friends. Im socially awkward, very shy , introvert and i literally have no hobbies except watching movies. I have tried talking to people so much that i’ve also cried multiple times, but it seems they slip away because im so boring. Im so lonely, i wonder what wrong have i done to people, why cant they accept such a person? Is anyone in the same shoes as me? What did you do?

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Hi, V - welcome!

A great question! There are many current students here who will relate to what you ask.

We’ll do our best as a group to answer your post and make some suggestions!

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Hi there, this is Amberin speaking, a muslim university student too! I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these feelings, and I appreciate your honesty. Starting university can be tough for many people, and the pressure to make friends can make it even more challenging.

The first few months of university were lonely for me too, so I totally understand you. It took some time to find people who I really connect to but I knew eventually I would find my group of friends.
One thing I would suggest is to join societies in your university related to your interests. You said you like watching movies, did you know lots of socities have movie nights? You could also try joining other socities, maybe you will find your new passion. I met and made lots of friends this way, as they were also looking into making friends. This will provide you with a more natural way to connect with others while doing activities.

And, It’s okay to be an introvert, and it’s okay to have different interests, that doesn’t make you boring. It might take some time to find people who appreciate and understand you for who you are. :smiling_face:

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Hi! I get where you are coming from. As an introvert myself I struggled with making friends when I first joined my uni. However, I can tell you that it is not impossible even though it looks that way right now!

It is scary at first and I remember I used to try to avoid any human interaction with groups as I was embarrassed to speak with others. However, the anxiety becomes manageable by doing what you are doing now - speaking with others. I swear it gets better over time!

In regards to your hobbies - watching movies is great! For most unis there are societies for this kind of stuff and there may even be societies for specific categories of movies so try to look out for these on the Students Union’s website of your university (if there is one). This way you can join a group chat and considering that you find it difficult to socialise in person, it should be a bit easier to do it over social media.

Furthermore, you can always try something new! There are societies for pretty much abything at uni! If there is a particular sport that you may want to learn, that is great! If not, I am confident that there are societies for like music, board games, anime and a lot of others.

My greatest piece of advice though is stop judging yourself so harshly! We are indeed our own enemies and people do not actually see us as we see ourselves most of the time! I am sure that you are an amazing person so just be yourself!

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Hey! Im so sorry you are feeling this way but I want you to know you are not alone in this, there isnt anything wrong with you and that you are not boring! During my first year of university i also made no friends and I was stuck at home on the weekends whilst everyone had plans. It was so hard for me to connect with people too and i can assure you many around you feel the same way.

I think what helped me the most was joining societies because they do frequent get togethers. You should join your university’s film society!! You will find people with the same interests as you and it will feel more natural to connect with them. You should also join other societies that seem interesting to you, even if you dont know much about it! - Dont think its too late to join now, there are new people always joining! In my third year, I decided to go to group yoga classes by myself (i was mortified!!) but it was great because I met another girl that was going by herself and we became friends!

When you talk to someone that seems interested in being your friend, suggest going to the library or for a coffee together. These are things that dont push you too hard to be talkative but still help to build a bond between you.

Also, be patient with yourself and others – building meaningful connections takes time! Sending you lots of love!!

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u sounded exactly like me in my first year of uni, i was so shy to make friends because i was afraid of what people think of me, immediately thinking they might hate me before i even spoke to them… it took me a while to realise what you think isnt what others think! as many others suggested societies are a great way to make friends, its also nice to be friend those in class/ same coursework project, suggesting to hang out after class and to be yourself!

dont forget to save time for your own self care and movie nights, remember it isnt the quantity of friends - its the quality friendships you can encounter and keep! u got this and update us on how your year goes!

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Hi V,
I’m an introvert who chose to sit alone at the first bench on my first day at uni because I was intimidated to make friends. I used to listen to music and read books or sketch during lunch breaks, to avoid interacting with people. And I do view myself as a boring person too, even now I often spend my time binge watching series.
But the difference between you and me is that you are taking the effort to interact with people. And that’s a really good thing.
I eventually did make friends, I was “adopted” by a whole bunch of extroverts. You’ll find your people V, just give it some more time. :hearts: In the meantime, focus on your course and the things that you love, and the rest will find it’s way to you.

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I understand how challenging it can be to feel like you’re struggling to make connections at university. Remember, being introverted or shy doesn’t make you less deserving of friendship. Since you enjoy movies, consider joining a film club or group at your university. This could be a more comfortable way to meet people with similar interests. It’s important to take things at your own pace and be kind to yourself. Many people have been in similar situations, and with time, you’re likely to find friends who appreciate you for who you are. If it gets overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek support from a university counselor or mentor. :heart:

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Hello! This is exactly how I felt in my first year, I completely get you and it’s okay to feel the way you do. Making friends in a new environment, especially during your first year at university, can be tough and its important to remember that you’re not alone, and you can always come back onto the forum to ask us any further questions. One thing that I really enjoyed was volunteering. It is not only a great way to give back to the community but also an excellent opportunity to meet new people and build connections.

Remember, it’s okay to be yourself, and genuine connections often happen when you find people who appreciate you for who you are. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to university support services or seek guidance from friends or family. You’re not alone in this, and things always get better with time! :heartpulse:

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